Road Trips Changed After Becoming Parents (And We Still Love Them)

Since meeting in the Bay Area many years ago, my husband and I like to joke that the majority of our relationship has been spent in the car. When we started dating in San Francisco, we were constantly trying to escape the city together on trips to SoCal to visit our families, Lake Tahoe to ski, and the Mammoth Lakes area to camp. Before my husband moved away (temporarily) for business school, we spent two weeks together on the road, up and down the West Coast.

After we got engaged, we ended up moving to Colorado for his job, but we still make the 16-hour drive back to California a couple times per year. Because of all this, it was important to us that our new baby would be comfortable, safe, and happy on road trips…but we had no idea what that would look like, or if it would even be possible. 

On pre-baby road trips, we minimized stops and maximized efficiency. Post-baby, we stop for feedings, diaper changes, baby (and dog) wiggles, and even full meals for us parents—and that’s okay. Slower travel can actually be better travel. Instead of focusing on the challenges, my husband and I choose to focus on why we keep doing it. 

After a beautiful summer of long drives to and from some of our favorite places, here’s what we learned about road tripping with a baby, and the mindset shifts we’ve made.

Accept that everything will take longer. 

Adjust your expectations ahead of time that the trip will take far longer than the drive time on Google Maps…possibly double, which may even require an overnight stay somewhere. Gas station bathroom breaks will no longer be five-minute “surgical strike” missions—you’ll need time to feed and change your baby every few hours. It’s also important to consider how long your baby can safely be in their car seat, and build in time for them (and you!) to stretch. My husband and I don’t feel comfortable having our son in his infant car seat more than three hours at a time, so we stop for about an hour every few hours to feed, change him, play, and let him get a good little baby stretch in. This means a typical eight-hour road trip takes more like 14 hours, but that’s okay with us. 

Enjoy the opportunity to take the scenic route. 

Before parenthood, my husband and I would take the quickest route possible. Now that we travel a lot slower, we consider taking the scenic route to enjoy our time on the road even more. We have driven from SoCal to NorCal dozens of times in our near-decade together, and used to always take I-5 through the not-so-picturesque Central Valley of California. Now that we have our son, we prefer to take beautiful Highway 395 through the Eastern Sierra. On our most recent road trip coming back from camping, we finally stopped at a popular burger and shake place we had always wanted to try. We spent over an hour enjoying our food on their shady patio, nursing the baby, and giving our dog a chance to stretch his legs as well. We never would have taken the time to do that before becoming parents. 

Work with your baby’s routine instead of against it. 

You simply can’t force your pre-parenthood travel preferences on your baby. Don’t worry about perfectly sticking to your baby’s usual routine, but consider the time of day you’re leaving in relation to their typical naps (if your baby usually sleeps in the car). Map out safe places to stop along the way that make sense with your baby’s feeding schedule. When my husband and I drove our baby from Los Angeles to Lake Tahoe, we stopped at a lovely park in Ridgecrest, our favorite bakery in Bishop, the exact spot he proposed to me at in June Lake, and a random (but safe) casino parking lot in Topaz. He did fantastic until the last two hours after Topaz. He was fed and changed and stretched, but just didn’t seem to want to be cooped up in the car anymore. Fortunately, I had armed myself with his best soothing tools (pacifier, white noise, soft toy hanging from the grab bar above his seat) and was able to get him back to sleep for the final stretch of our drive. 

A flexible mindset (and sense of humor) will reduce your stress. 

We also do our best to take any unforeseen challenges in stride. For example, I thought I was really smart for making sure I had a few extra tops for myself easily accessible, since my baby loves to “slime” me with spitup after nursing. What I didn’t expect was stepping in a huge puddle during our first park break, and soaking my socks and shoes. My extras of those items were packed far too deep in the car to retrieve them, but I laughed it off and was grateful that at least my son had clean clothes—and he did end up going through ALL his backups that I had handy!

Expect some ripple effects. 

Our baby almost always falls asleep in the car, but that means he gets far more daytime sleep than usual on road trip days. Therefore, his nighttime sleep is usually affected when we reach our destination. We have just learned to accept that one rough night of sleep doesn’t ruin a trip or a homecoming. As new parents, we tend to view every challenge as something that must be prevented…but sometimes it just needs to be managed. There’s no need to sacrifice great experiences by trying to preserve the “perfect” baby schedule. 

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Appreciate the unexpected benefits of road tripping with your baby. 

When I was a little kid, I remember my dad would quietly wake me and my sister up in the early morning, wrap us in cozy blankets, and plop us in the backseat with toys and snacks for our family road trips. At the time, I had no idea how much those memories would mean to me one day. Especially now that my dad is no longer with us, these are some of my fondest childhood memories, and I’m so grateful to already be making road trip memories with my son. He may not remember these trips from babyhood, but they will still be part of his childhood story. One day I hope he’ll look back on family road trips with the same warmth that I do.

I assumed road tripping with our baby would be somewhat miserable, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how enjoyable it is. It’s been incredible to watch our baby experience new places with such innocent wonder, and it allows us to intentionally slow down and appreciate the time together.

Road trips with a baby are much slower, but they’re still worth taking. The journey itself just becomes part of the adventure.

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