Mindset Shifts That Helped Me Enjoy Early Motherhood Even More

Before my son was born, I spent months preparing for labor, delivery, and newborn care. My husband and I took classes together on birth, breastfeeding, and baby safety. We stood in the driveway reading our infant car seat manual, getting encouragement from our neighbors on their way to the mailbox. Eager to finally become parents after a long struggle with infertility, we prepared as much as we possibly could.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how much motherhood would change the way my brain works. None of these lessons came from a parenting class or a baby book; they came from actually experiencing those first few months.

These are the mindset shifts that enabled me to not just survive, but truly thrive in those first few months of motherhood.

Give yourself permission to slow down.

Motherhood is somehow exhausting and chaotic, yet slow and quiet all at the same time. Remind yourself that it’s okay (it’s good, actually) to not be productive all the time or keep up with all of your pre-motherhood habits. Embrace the brief moments of downtime you get from breastfeeding and contact naps when you literally can’t do anything else but read, watch a show, text a friend back, or simply just rest. Your life and priorities are very different now, but that’s exactly the point. Your worth isn’t measured by how quickly you “bounce back” after having a baby.

Your baby needs you, not perfection.

I’ll admit that when my baby is inconsolable with anyone else, but calms down as soon as he’s in my arms, it is a huge ego boost for me. I am nowhere near a “perfect” mom (nor will I ever be), but I know in my heart that I am the exact mom he needs. You know your baby best, and you can’t “spoil” your baby by holding or loving them too much (despite whatever unsolicited Boomer advice you receive says). Sometimes your baby will cry and be upset even if you are doing everything right, and all you can do is whisper in their little ears, “I’m here, you’re safe, and this will pass.” Your baby needs and loves you, just the imperfect way you are.

Everything is temporary…the good and the bad.

There will be tough times in motherhood when you think “I can’t do this.” There will also be amazing times when you think “Nothing could be better than this.” Every phase is temporary, so have faith that the cluster feeding and sleepless nights will pass…but appreciate the sweet baby snuggles and the absolute magic of experiencing smiles and giggles for the first time because those will pass, too. The hardest seasons rarely last forever, but neither do the sweetest ones. Someday very soon you will no longer be alarmed by your newborn sounding like an actual wild hog during active sleep, but that means your special time sleeping in the same room may be coming to an end as well. That being said, it’s normal to love your baby unconditionally while not loving every single moment of motherhood.

Motherhood changes you faster than you expect.

As a self-imposed victim of “imposter syndrome” in so many areas of my life, I was worried I would feel like an imposter in motherhood as well. Instead, I quickly identified with being a mom more than any other role I’ve had. I am so proud to be my son’s mom, and so confident in my abilities to care for him. At the same time, it absolutely terrifies me that as soon as he was born, I felt like my whole heart now lives outside my body…and it’s my most important job to protect him.

Protect your peace (and your confidence).

I say this to myself constantly: comparison is the thief of joy. While there is so much parenting knowledge to be shared on social media, be very wary of comparing your motherhood experience to what you see online if it’s making you feel bad about yourself. When you’re feeling defeated, reflect on how much you’ve learned and overcome in your motherhood journey so far. (I literally keep a “baby victories” list on my phone, and I remember how empowering it felt just to write down that I left the house with him by myself for the first time.) Try to stay flexible, especially in the early newborn phase; trying to stick to a rigid schedule and tracking everything on apps will make you crazy. Ask for (and accept help) from loved ones when you need it, but remember that your parenting choices are between you and your partner—nobody else.

You and your baby are learning alongside each other.

If you’re in the “newborn trenches” right now, you may be asking yourself: “Will I ever feel like I know what I’m doing?” The answer is yes, and you probably won’t even notice when it happens.

You don’t have to do everything perfectly. Your baby doesn’t need a perfect schedule, a spotless house, or a parent who never feels overwhelmed—they just need a mom who keeps showing up.

Especially as a first-time mom, the newborn stage changes you in ways you can’t fully imagine until you’re living it. Little by little, you’ll find yourself becoming more confident, your routines will settle, and one day you’ll no longer be constantly worrying if you’re doing a good job…you’ll simply be doing it.